100 Theme Challenge: 076 Who?

Warnings: None.

Characters: Kyle, Mana and Douglas are mentioned.

Rune Factory 2: 100 Themes

Theme 076: Who?

.~.~.~.~.

Who am I?

That’s a good question. If you find out, tell me, because I sure don’t know.

How did I come to be in such a predicament—not knowing who I am? That, also, is a good question. If I remember, I’ll be sure to tell you.

Good luck with that, though. It has been several seasons since I found myself (or, at least, the self I am now—who knows who I was before) in the quiet, rural port-town of Alvarna that one spring morning.

I’m not even sure how I got here, really. Those first few days are kind of a blur now. I just woke up one day in a grassy field, not knowing anything, and just started walking, I suppose. The only thing I really remember is the panic and confusion running through my veins and the strong scent of flowers. Maybe that was what drew me here. The scent was alluring and calming. It made me feel better, safer.

It was a strange string of coincidences and lucky breaks that happened afterward that lead me to stay here; but despite their oddity I’m grateful they happened. Who knows what would have happened to me – a man who knows nothing about where or who or what I was or might have been or could have been. Meeting Mana and being allowed (or maybe forced, I’m still not sure to this day) to live and work at her family’s farm was probably the luckiest thing that could have happened to me.

But those first few days were rough. Who knew farm work was so hard? I could tell that I had done some type of manual labor before—despite my skinny stature, I wasn’t exactly a scrawny weakling—but the work was still difficult and tiring. And sleep didn’t come easily, despite my exhaustion. In the quietness of the night where the only soul in the house was myself and the only sounds were the creaking of the trees against the house or an owl hooting somewhere outside, my thoughts were left to wander and build up with questions and insecurities.

I wondered what kind of person I was before. What if I was a bad person? Did I do terrible things? My seemingly natural knack for fighting and magic worries me sometimes. Did I have family? What were they like, if I did? Were we close? Did they miss me; did they wonder where I was or if I was okay? What kind of pain was I possibly putting them through?

Eventually sleep would overtake me, but it was uneasy and light. The slightest sound in the house would wake me up, and it would be difficult to fall asleep again.

I felt alone in the world. I had no friends or family to lean on. I took to doing favors for everyone I could, with the hopes that maybe I wouldn’t have to feel so lost anymore, eventually. And in time, things did get better. I got used to my surroundings, got closer to the people in town, and I felt less insecure and lost.

I still wonder who I was in the stillness of the night. But in the seasons I’ve been here, I’ve learned who I am, right now. For now, it’s enough.

The thoughts and questions will always plague me until my memory returns, but for now, being here is enough. I have a future to look forward to here, so the past doesn’t matter quite as much anymore.

I’d still like to know, though. A person needs a past, present, and future to feel whole, to feel alive. I hope one day I can become whole again.

.~.~.~.~.