The only problem is now I don't know what to do next, lololol *shot*
You know those days that you aren’t quite sure how they might go, but are excited and hopeful for no real reason when you wake up anyway?
Today was one of those days, except I might have had a reason to be hopeful. And extremely nervous—and boy was I. I was practically shaking the entire morning, what-ifs plaguing my mind non-stop. What if I made a fool of myself? What if she said no? What would I do then? Probably go hide in a corner and wish I could dissolve into it.
Today was a holiday, but just not any holiday. It was Summer 19th—the day of the Dance Festival. And I was going to ask the girl I liked if she would dance with me.
Well, if I could convince myself not to chicken out, anyway. I was good at that—chickening out, that is. The past few festivals were a complete failure on my part because of that, and I was stubbornly holding onto my resolve this time. I was going to ask her out. I was going to ask her out. I was going to ask Rosalind out, and nothing I could say to myself was going to change my mind. Maybe if I could keep on repeating that to myself, I’d actually do it.
…Who was I kidding? I couldn’t do this. I slumped into the chair at the front desk with a sigh, setting my mug of coffee on the table. This was pointless. She would never say yes. Never in a million years would Rosalind, esteemed only daughter of the affluent Herman de Sainte-Coquille, agree to dance with me, the quiet doctor-in-training at the Alvarna Clinic (who wasn’t the best dancer ever), childhood friends or not. Well, she might agree, but not in the way I wanted. Not…romantically. Just as friends. It has always been just as friends. I didn’t want to be just friends anymore, not since…well, a really long time ago, when I figured out that my feelings towards her bridged past that point. Rosalind has yet to take the hint—not that I was doing a good job at dropping them.
There was a loud thump right above my head that snapped me out of my gloomy slump, and I heard angry voices filter down from upstairs. I sighed. Mom and Alicia were fighting again. I guess they decided to start early today; they usually don’t start bickering until they come downstairs. I took a sip of my coffee and leaned back into the chair. Today was going to suck, I decided. So much for waking up in a good mood.
Alicia came stomping down the stairs a few minutes later, looking positively livid and mumbling under her breath—one didn’t need much of an imagination to guess at what she was saying and who it was directed at.
“Good morning,” I called out, which she grumbled back before walking out the door and slamming it behind her. I gave the door a sour look before turning back to my coffee. Perfect way to start the day, definitely. At least my coffee wasn’t rude. Mom came down with much the same expression, locking herself up in the infirmary before I even had a chance to say hello. What a wonderful family I had, totally supporting and loving, right? Here I was, spiraling into a nervous wreck, and no one noticed.
I guess I have no reason to be upset at them; they have their own things to worry about, but still. It would have been nice if someone noticed and gave me a little moral support. But no, no one cared.
“Good morning!”
Well, that was a little better. I looked up to see Max closing the door behind him, a great big grin on his face like he as the king of the world. It was a little annoying, to tell the truth.
“Good morning,” I replied automatically, taking another sip of my drink. Max came around the desk and sat on it in front of me. I glared at him. Why was he so happy?
“Why the long face?” He grinned, leaning back on his hand.
“You’re sitting on my papers,” I answered sullenly, but his grin only turned into a knowing smile.
“Come on, that’s not it. Tell me.” I frowned, avoiding his gaze. He was just going to make fun of me for chickening out, that little insecure voice in the back of my mind that was slowly getting stronger told me. I decided to ignore him. Max, not the little voice. The little voice was becoming very convincing right now—this was never going to work, I was just going to make a fool of myself, she was going to say no and not want to be friends with me anymore or ever speak to me again, she’ll get angry or creeped out or-
“Hey, I’m talking to you, pay attention,” Max said, snapping his fingers in front of my face. I jumped slightly, looking up to glare at him.
“What?”
“What are you getting all depressed about? You’re supposed to be excited!” He said joyously, gesturing eagerly. “Today is the day you’re finally going to ask my sister out!”
“And why am I supposed to be excited?” I grumbled. “I’m just going to make an idiot out of myself.”
“Hey, don’t say that. You’re not. We discussed this, Ray.” He jumped off the desk—spreading papers everywhere, much to my dismay. “You’re going to go up to her, start a nice conversation, then sweep her off her feet for the best time she’s ever had. You’ll dance all night,” he started moving around the room animatedly, dancing with himself and humming while I stared at him in credulously, feeling a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth, “and when the night ends you’ll tell her how you feel and she’ll be so love-struck she’ll have to say yes.” He turned to me, his grin from when he came in back. “And then you’ll wonder why you were being so silly and didn’t just ask her out weeks ago.”
I chuckled. If only it was that easy… “Do you really think she’ll say yes?” I asked quietly.
“Of course!” he responded quickly, “she’d have to be out of her mind to say no to you.”
“But…”
“But nothing, Ray.” I frowned.
“No! But… but what if she does say no? What if I make a mistake and make a fool out of myself? What if she’s disgusted by the idea and doesn’t want to talk to me anymore afterward or—“ Max slammed his hands on the desk, startling me out of my rant of all the insecurities that had been plaguing me all morning. I looked up, but his gaze wasn’t angry, just concerned.
“Do you really think she would do that, Ray?”
I let my head fall to the table with a thump and a groan. “I don’t know… no, probably not. I’m just… nervous.” I was just making up excuses to not do it and save my dignity. Or possibly save myself from heartbreak. Both, probably.
“Ray…” Max said softly, his coat rustling just above my head. I wondered for a second why he was wearing it on such a hot day, but dismissed the question immediately because it was Max I was wondering about, and who ever understood why he did anything anyway? I shook my head in response, heaving the what, fifth sigh of the morning?
“It’s stupid, I know, I should just ask… there’s no point in building myself up and then not doing anything about it…”
“That’s better! Now,” he pulled me up from my chair by the hand, ignoring my protests and practically dragging me to the door, “go out there and ask her.”
“But—“
“Go, silly!” he demanded, pushing me out the door and closing it behind me.
“Hey! You can’t lock me out of my own house!” I yelled through the door, knocking on it insistently. I wasn’t ready for this yet!
“Sure I can! Go already; Rosalind is probably hanging around the West End by now. You don’t want to keep her waiting, do you?” I heard him respond, slightly muffled through the door. I glared at it; this wasn’t very fair… mean door. Did it have to be so solid and prevent me from hiding from inevitable doom?
I groaned, turning around and staring in the direction of the Park. I could already hear music playing - lighthearted with a steady beat. Well, it was now or never…
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